i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
