btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
