he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
