Duck Duck Cougar?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
