So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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