think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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