i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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