I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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