You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
