Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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