I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
