Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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