just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
