i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
it's like iHOP with fire
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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