I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
