I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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