Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize