how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize