He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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