just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
