Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
