is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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