Your dad touched me again.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
