I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
