508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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