honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
