I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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