U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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