Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
