No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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