90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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