she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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