no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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