I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
