"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
whose ass print is on the piano?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
