grandma shit on top of the toilet
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
