I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Fuck appropriateness.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It was confusing and full of hummus
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
