Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
