well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
