I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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