if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
birth control should be required to get into college
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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