I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
