I can't breathe out the right side of my face
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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