Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize