i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Dicks are not precious.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
