So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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