She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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