Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Lo siento on account of my penis...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
