My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
