you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
tell me about the eggs
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
