Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize