the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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