You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
