You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
