I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
