I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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