lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
