i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
