okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize