Can i not drive my cunt home
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
