Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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