she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
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