just tell him i said nine months
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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