my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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