She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
