when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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