at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
