fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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