i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
