He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
