I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This house was built for laser tag.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
