ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
