You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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