All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I AM VODKA MAN
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
