Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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