It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
