Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
