My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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